Brown Box

As much as I thought I didn't give a fuck

That nostalgic part of me still does

Hope for what will never be, is not and never was

Hate seeing you happy,  and love seeing you lamenting

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What qualifies this hate?
using my generosity and affinity as a weapon?
the emotional and physical infidelity
I have yet to discover the meaning
Save for the only joy you have given me
I can cite no positivity
The sex was not enough to rectify
Those egregious and fatal flaws
Disconnect was so strong
Questioning if it was really you
Or if i really know you at all
Fuck

Closets and Skeletons

Closed off from another world dying to be liberated
I am not sure where I need to be
Is this what I really am?
Have my eyes come equipped to see?
I feel comfortable in the meanwhile
The other side has piqued my interest for a spell
However taboo it might appear
Status quo has built my fear
I hide the agony well
Born This Way? Perhaps.
Come Clean? Maybe.
Then again, I feel bipolar
The mania envelops me opportunistically
But mostly I have to depress the urge
Since it is no returning once I cross that bridge

Ally's On

Life will always have its cons, what we do with them that matters
Tempests will find their way into your life, but you can always dry off and keep moving
Trust me, baby girl, it gets worse before it gets better
Liberation attained easily isn't liberation worth pursuing
Dwell in the dark and one day come to light
Don't seek to be understood by others, forge your own path
It starts from you, as no one will believe you
If you don't believe yourself

OutSpokenWords

i ain't politically inclined
but these politics?
designed to keep niggas behind
opportunity, what is it?
that senator's word placement
is so exquisite.
fractured school districts,
yet it was so necessary to
maintain the power and white district
young black NIGGAS steady hitting pavement
this city needs help, guess we aint on their wavelength
jackson county says i don't pay
they assume cause i'm a
non custodial parental, few hours and a couple days
got me up in the system perpetuating cycles
getting told when and where, like this is the
definition of delightful
all because of one teenager's furor
i diagnose bullshit, sadly no cure.
i have been screaming for years
that child support was never a fear
today its much more
jagged edge that pierced me to the core
man, my life at once had so much polish
then in one fell swoop,
shit was demolished.
sometimes i wanna say fuck you and whoever designed you
since i'm the conductor of controversy designed to provide for you
don't wanna be your house nigga, quite as a mouse nigga
brash, raw, unadulterated
imititated, never duplicated, voice unabated
fuck the suburbs, that's what i always say
and to you, i say fuck you and have a nice day

The Name Game

How foolish of me to think
That I would get something from you
Especially when the less deserving
Get the sweetest piece of the pie
I should not have expected much change
Directed my way, silly of me
I figured you laughed all along
While I fought
And I now I feel like a fool thinking you were on my side
Now you wonder why I am fatigued
Uptight
Untrusting
Your biggest adversary is now your biggest ally
This makes me question where I stand
Sometimes you smile in my face
Like there can be an us
Silly of me

The Overfield Effect

something tells me that evil is at work
with his nicely pressed shirt and suburban smirk
seems wholesome but got a hole deep in him
and some girl somewhere too hurt to forgive him
promised her all, but never got none
he says no words as she stares at the sun
so she can never see another man's face
and she can slow her thoughts down to a snails pace
he's got her but then again he doesn't get her
quite unrequited as she indulges in the liquor
if he don't love her then Jack will
Apparently so, cause they sleep by the windowsill
she used to cry in the morning when he would leave
now she's dead to the world with no time to bereave