End of An Era

In my pursuit of all things, some get left behind
If you can’t run with me or wait, that should be a sign
You need to find somebody that suits your speed
My heart’s already broken, so don’t make it bleed
Cause if I drop a pint, or even an ounce
Any hint of treachery or hate that amounts
To us not being like we was in the better days
Me against the world, looking into purple haze
In the State of Truman when I dropped that bomb
One girl I saw, she sat and sobbed
Broke the oath and what she heard wasn’t nice
Lose-lose situation, but forgive me Price
All of those satin days, and diamonds nights
Truth shall set you free, that was my sacrifice

Untitled Number Three

what makes us what we are?
is it a single event?
a person or people?
what makes a good person go bad?
is it nature or is it something mysterious?
its just a question of mine
but it probably wont get answered

Untitled Number Two

can a friend be as a lover
as peanut butter is to jelly?
sharing the mind's fruits
as well as yourself
is it illegal to think erotic thoughts
where there should be platonic ones?
is there a way to fulfill fantasy
without compromising purity?

Untitled Number One

i see maroon
this love has exhausted me because
she indeed has said farewell too many times
too many to count
time itself needs time to heal this sickness
within the pandora's box that is my mind
words alone cannot heal me
i am in need of something
deeper than words
deeper than actions
deeper than myself
that may not even actually exist
but nonetheless i am in need of
i may be anxious, and maybe this yen
for assistance will subside
interim, it has claimed residence inside me
and doesnt appear on leaving anytime soon

Pronoun Proposal

are we who we are?
or, are we what people think we are?
are we them?
are they us?
since we think about what they think
are we, in a sense, them?
and if they are right in assuming
are they, in a sense, us?
if we are them and they are us,
then who is who?

Paramour

the thing i love to hate, the pleasure in pain
captivating me, left never breathing again
gasping for air, drowning in the sweet sorrow
can't sleep, i wouldnt see you tomorrow
last chance for until whenever, seems like eternity
heat of the moment is at a distance, yet burning me
the yearning concerning the matters of our relationship
soviet, the unified, steadily joined at the hip
cherish every moment as i'm to perish
tomorrow ain't promised, so we gotta make it today
every day we have has to outdo the last

Put It On Paper

when i put it on paper
tell your mind and eyes to beware
because the contents of the manuscript
could blind you and have you in a daze
since what i put on paper is toxic
if you're strong, you will stand
be the weakling, and it will eat through you
when i put it on paper, i dont want a censor
to regulate what i write
my paper is a show during the big game, a spectacle
i'm baring everything, as long as my pen doesnt fail
i will write what i want, say what i want
cuss when i want, and create what i want
on this paper
jus like i am now, i continue to put it on paper

Went To The Crossroads to Sell My Soul

contemplatin selling my soul to the red man
just so i can get me and famiy ahead, man
stuck in the mighty grip of debt so much that it pains
everyday affairs, like poverty is pumping in my veins
so fiercely that you wished you could just discard the load
and meet the incarnadine Satan at the crossroads
have a conversation about the struggle, hustle and bustle
he can make those moves, he's got mighty muscle
anyway you can cause a holy man to steer perverse
you can slide a fortune into my moms purse
he said i can do this but at a small cost
where you'll be a soulless fuck and your hope is lost
i said well, im tired of being poor and wishing for prosperity
cause in reality it will never ever come to me
you powerful bastard, you can turn to water to wine too
if you're bad like you say you are, let's see what you can do
so i stepped back, and he branded me with the pitchfork
i looked at him said "what the fuck you do that for"
you said you wanted to have that prosperity you're bitching about
like having a few funky-ass dollars is something you can't do without
i snapped back, like money makes my world boost up
he said no, money makes weaklings like you corrupt
well, what's done is what's done, i gave you the brand
but im letting you know now, that was a dumb demand
walking different as i tread away from the spot of transaction
got that chip off my shoulder, gained some satisfaction
in knowing that i got what i asked for
having that change in my pocket always and forever more
bitches, not women, they all want to holla now
just because i got that almighty dolla now
all it took was a courageous stunt like Evel Knievel
to take my place among the financially chosen people
went from dirt cheap to extensively expensive
seen as thoughtless, once was extensively pensive
like, is this candy bar beyond my means?
now, i'm rocking 300 dollar jeans

Fast and Furious

Quick relationships are a paramount concern
Promising suns develop into frightful supernovas
Felicitous thoughts of keeping company in eternity
Transform into malicious opinions and a distasteful farewell
Be wary of the elongated relationships, however
And the torrent of emotional artillery that ensues
Becomes a war of feelings
As a once-proud estate left to degrade
The relationship endlessly decays
And becomes an eyesore for the world to see
Time promotes evolution, and so we evolve
Antidote for love`s ailments
Fast and furious, Slow and docile
Embark on a journey, in uniformity
Remnants of the slow and docile
Visible, and spewing his fevered wrath
But it holds no weight

Ronnie is a Daddy

He likes to like fuck, have sex or whatever
Not vulgar because he goes about it oh so clever
Words slide from his bottom lip, smooth as velvet
Like "you looking mighty fine, can i please dig your helmet?"
Ronnie preferred the emotional heart-to-heart
But it ain't no thang to do it in complete dark
And that's what got him in the situation he's in
All because of a simple tryst on the weekend
She's calling, looking at the EPT cryin
Barely comprehending the news, you drop the phone sighing
Joining the masses as the posterboy for contraceptive failure
But you can make it work, fuck what they tell ya
What might be a burden will turn into a blessing
Once you get past the introductory stressing
Been through more shit, don't let the talk stop ya
Look everybody, Ronnie's gonna be a poppa.
RONNIE GOTTA BABY BY A CRAZY LADY
REAL LIFE NOW, NO TIME FOR ACTING SHADY
LET MY MOMS KNOW NOW, SHE PROBABLY GON CLOWN
KEEP IT TO MYSELF, SEE WHATS GOIN DOWN
Trimesters keep coming, baby closer to the light
Days are numbered till you staying up all night
To the tune of a baby boy you helped create
Some days itll feel like too much on the plate

Everytime, When, If

Everytime you fly, I hope someone shoots you down
Everytime you walk, I hope you sink into the ground
Everytime you cry, I hope it burns through you
Everytime you're vicious, i hope it comes back to you
When the good times roll, I hope you get trampled
When the heat of hell comes, for you, I hope it's more than ample
When opportunity knocks, I hope it passes you up for me
When you're fucking, I hope you're feeling and seeing me
If you see me in the streets, walk on by
If you call for me on your deathbed, just die
If you have that urge to call me, remember there's animosity abound
If you figure all of me is still attracted to you, take a look around

Just a Moment

wake up, i see i been crying in my sleep
thinkin all night bout this girl i want to keep
she drives me crazy like no one has
not her fault, but i'm always second class
how i'm gonna beat tha one that came before
that's like Jordan, Pippen and Rodman gonna win some more
breaks just aint for me, they make my heart grow fonder
anxious to see if relationship go yonder
formula for my underdog-ness goes like this
her first love+time+telephone times distance
multiply that hundredfold and you see how i feel
tear sme up, sometimes i wanna kill
cause i got that passion in my soul, to let you know i'm bout it
she'll never get to see it cause her thoughts is clouded
why women love assholes that neither here nor there
all i know is that i love her i can feel it in the air
i feel for you more than that muthafucka ever did
knowing i'm so far and he's so close gets me pissed
i may be clingy, but that's what happens when im afraid of losing something
right now, baby girl you my number one
it always happens like this, i tend to get to get clowned
thinking i had something, when i'm just the rebound
to get back on her feet, after a troubling storm
got to this point, this situation's the norm

Withdrawal

crazy in love or is that what it is
i'm 18, she 16, we're both still lil kids
what provokes me to drive 85 miles for nothin
what turns me on to your awkward styles is something
i'm still tryin to put together and figure out
what exactly that this short relationship was about
sadomasochistic, starting to enjoy the pain
of always falling short again and again
Cupid laughing and got a lock on me
Sharpshooting another one of those damn darts in me
Falling head over heels, spending my dollar bills
When it was all said and done, that type of hurt kills
Put so much energy to what seems like a lost cause
didnt seem like it was when i was deep in your walls
Maybe we the right people, but just at the wrong time
Like Erykah Badu, probably be together next lifetime

Me And Lindsey

who knew?
i, for one, did not
for the past three years
i did the same thing with my A-O-L
"welcome you have mail" while moving my mouse
watching videos and checking Blackplanet
of all places, i met you on Blackplanet, December 2003
ironic, huh?
i was "nigga, say what?" and you
you were Midwest Mami #15
i barely knew you, but there was something
something i cant even really explain verbally
we talked and typed, and when i got tired of reading
i bought phone cards, 25 dollars a pop, times 5
you could say that was the beginning
of showing you what i was willing to do for love
so i found out i had long distance
AND IT WAS ON!!!
at the cost of 144 dollars and 19 cents!
good thing i didnt have a car to pay for then...
then we stopped talking. no conversations.
you went Joe and i stayed solo
you went AJ and i stayed solo
you went Anthony and I went Tara, then solo again
nearly forgot each other [glad we didnt]
exchanged some words we shouldnt have
time made that better though
and then, just like that
we were like Forrest and Jenny, peas and carrots
except i'm far from slow, and i do know what love is!
then a March 12, 2005 came along, nice day
i had a blonde car, with dreams of going up north
"baby, meet me in Kearney"
"Kearney, where the hell is Kearney..oh, off I-35? i can find that"
"at McDonalds? which one?...there's only one?!"
you snuck up on me in the parking lot
and the rest is history
we rode, we laughed, we kissed
we stared, we thought, we listened, we wondered why it took so long
why it took forever to see you.
7 hours. and it was over.
i was hanging by this moment
hanging most painfully, nonetheless
sitting at school, while everybody else was focused
on Multi-Ethnic Literature and presentations
yours truly was thinking about you
to the point i was dead to the world
i spent four to five days like this...
and just like that, it was Saturday again
after all the house cleaning, money spending
getting lost in the woods. getting keys locked in cars
and bad attitudes.........
you-----unleashed-----this-----passion
of which its power i'd never before experienced
you rode, we laughed, we kissed, we stared
we moaned, we whispered, we thought, we listened
I WONDERED.........
who do i need to thank for this?

Letter to My Unborn Child

for my offspring that hasn't found a mother
before you get here, we're here to help one another
as entertaining a fatherhood has got me preparing
mind, body, and soul, so i will perpetually care
about the welfare of my prosperity
just hope your mother is the proud woman i marry
because for many a year i've seen drama
"you aint shit" battles between papa and mama
them two words make black man's face contort
court docket, joint custody and child support
10 thousand dollar chain keeps em bound
one of many reasons that i wont mess around
that and i dont want to contribute to the downfall
of America, the division that traps us all
would hate for you to be at an academy
parent teacher conference, like "where's my daddy?"
daddy loves you always remember that
do you any harm, and i'll attack
ride or die for you, and them some
no matter the circumstance, it's all love
baby x, i'd never let ill will between Jack and Jill
fill me enough to tumble our bond down a hill
you can holla whenever you need me, and then
one to keep a promise and someone to believe in
all i ask of you is to honor my wishes
always put your parents before any women.
if you do that for me, i'll be Mr. Dependable
even if you don't, i'm still Mr. Dependable
i know your impending birth will be my pinnacle
joy for my family and silence for the cynical
analytical, want you to exceed what i did
brag about how i got the world's smartest kid
some nights, i sit and laugh about my infant lineage
cracking up that someone's gonna be my spitting image
when you exit the womb, and not a minute before
raise your little fist, tell you the world is yours

In A Mia State of Mind

Mia, regardless if the sun brings light to everything
Or the moon blankets the earth with a white luminance
They keep you on my mind
In my thoughts
You change a man's way of thinking
Much like the stars change positions each night
Entertain thoughts of settling
Like the seeds of a dandelion after a long journey
So much anger without you
So many tears with nowhere to fall
So much passion wasted inside
My day is that much better
If I hear the sweet song
That is you
40 days and 40 nights beat me black and blue
Still managed to get back to you
There is no peace in me
Because i have those thoughts
Those feelings when I become flushed
And aroused by the prospect
Of sharing each other
I should have come calling
When we made ourselves
Known to each for the first time

Rewind

it's to the point where contact is few and far between
after some time, talk was an occasional event for her and me
those three brief weeks from November to December
in my head, thoughts I'd rather not remember
over the telephone moaning in passion
we got our kicks in an unusual fashion
went on one date, if you will, and paid for everything
only shining moment in this star-crossed fling
set off a firestorm and dissention galore
confused over who i wanted more
that i fell head over heels for this brown-eyed temptress
one thing i will surely admit and heartily confess
apparently at that moment, this had gotten the best of us
feelings were evident between the two of us
words were exchanged and we had concurred
became friends of sorts, until something occured
only through my friend [his girlfriend] i heard about her
everything was kosher, as i barely knew her