Sometime Daddy

I'm never there except when I want to be
Because I'm a man, and that's my nature
My child cries for me nights on end
I just want to tell her that her mother
Well, she wasn't even my girlfriend
Just a pretty face with a generous space
That I just happened to fill
I stop by on the holidays
To make sure I don't look bad
I wasn't even going to stay
Because I'm perfect, and I don't make mistakes
I run, that's what I do best
I did make it on her birthday
Just to see if she looks like me
And she doesn't
So it makes me wonder if it's mine
The birth certificate says so
So i guess that makes me her daddy
I'm in the prime of my life
I ain't trying to be there full-time
Just sometime
One day, my daughter is going to hate me
And I'll try to explain, and she won't listen
And I'll just tell her to get in line
Just like all the other bitches

December 15th: 12 Noon

I'm sitting in a calculated stupor,
Waiting for this life to end
With a bottle in my hand, contemplating
What I'm going to do with myself
To unthaw my insides
How large of a task is this going to be?
Indifference has been coursing through my veins
With eyes that wanted to stare forever
But a heart that wants to roam
See what life is like
Before it settles on the front porch
I cannot hand away what I am
For I am overcome with fright
Before I give away the apathy
I will go quietly into the night

Showtime Sunday

in the still of the night
i'm thinking about
everything i am
that people fail to see
but that i know exists
in the human abyss
like the december evening
cold and desolate
with no end in sight
masks and layers
resistant to love and prayers
heroes are those
that conjure the contra
i am smoke and mirrors alike
incapable of discerning wrong from right
who i am is who you'll hate
hearts, minds and soul are what i'll break
it's all i know
heartbreaking and soulshaking